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Thank Ye

Dentally Cleared!

Now I just need legal and medical clearance, then I'll be invited. That is all.

PC, you tease, you...

I had a heart-in-my-throat moment the other day. I came home from work, bent down to scoop up the mail that is always scattered across the muddy, frozen floor (No, I'm not in a third world country yet, this is Downtown Albany), and saw the now familiar peace corps envelope, with "URGENT" stamped all over it. It was fat, and as I learned while applying for colleges, fat = accepted, small = rejected. I thought, "how can this be?! How can they have reviewed all my materials already, much less placed me?"
I walked up the steps, fearing words like "Departing May 1st." I questioned when ten days would expire, and with them my deadline for accepting my invitation. So, I took a deep breath... and...
I sent the wrong dental x-rays. Yeah, that's how I felt too. Damn it! I wish they had emailed me, telling me to expect my entire dental package back in the mail so that I didn't almost give myself a heart attack.
In any case Dr. Geisler's crew was kind enough not only to squeeze me in for an "emergency" appointment yesterday morning, but to give me even more free X-Rays. I owe them something; just not sure what to send. Peace Corps has the films now, and I'm tentatively assuming that, since I didn't get any of my vision or medical materials back, they must have everything they need to make an assessment. Now I can sit back and wait for six weeks or so, I've heard. Anyways sorry for the melodrama... I was bored :)

Inch by Inch

PC has finally received my medical kit. They updated my toolkit yesterday morning, which is a relief. Now I just need to keep my fingers crossed that I filled everything out correctly and they're satisfied with my health. A friend, Nadine, said she thinks the PC asks for SO much medical information as a way to disqualify people, but I hope that's not true. But holy crap did they want a lot of information.

Scared

Oh me oh my. I have all my medical materials gathered, save for evidence of my G6PD Titer (I don't know what it is either). Actually it's a test given to you to determine if you can take anti malarials - which I don't plan on taking anyways. I'd rather deal with Malaria than with the god awful dreams I suffered with Larium. Ever hacked your family into bits or starred in your own personal horror flick? You will, if you take Larium!
Anyways that aside. The title of this post is "scared," with good reason. Once I photocopy all these materials and mail them to OMS, I will be in the final stage: placement. After sending them in, unless OMS needs further clarification on something, my next contact from PC will be my invitation. Once I receive the invitation, which will include my destination country, program assignment, departure date, and passport/visa materials, I have 10 days to make up my mind. I'm ready. I'm ready? My heart is racing and my mouth just dried up, simply thinking about it.

I am terrified.

Small Update

Alright, just a quickie. I finally heard back from Mr. Stand-In Doctor, who gave me some bad news. I have to get records from my pediatrician, who I'm pretty sure is retired, to prove my vaccination record. SO that's going to be a blast. I'm not even sure who has to fill out that paperwork. I'm also fasting today so that I can go get my bloodwork (Cholestorol, etc) done this afternoon, which is required. I also have to see a specialist, which will be incredibly annoying, but is required, *sigh* All this in addition to the fact that I've not made an appointment to see an eye doctor yet as I'm waiting for my vision insurance to kick in, and my freebie Dentist is going to try to get me to pay $150 to "shave down" a chipped tooth. Which I don't care about so long as it's not a health risk, so I'll have to refuse that service from the man who was nice enough to give me a free exam and x-rays.

All other things aside, anxiety is a constant about it. I'm working through it. I have little cave-in moments where I feel like an awful, awful person for leaving for more than two years. I feel guilty for my kitties, my family, and for my friends cos I already know of one wedding that I'm missing! Ay. I have a nightmare at least twice a week that Peace Corps Departing is tomorrow - I have nothing packed, I don't know where to go, I haven't said goodbye to anybody. So I look forward to those increasing in frequency for the next 9+ months. In moments of weakness, what does an Atheistic Pessimist like me tell herself? It's a funny thing - I'm forced to rely on my own strength instead of delegating that out to "God" or "luck." It's all how I look at it, how I attack it, how I cope with it. So it's a soul-making venture, no? I'll keep telling myself that ;)

oh HERE'S the frustration they warned me about...

Allow me to take this time to express my extreme frustration with:

- My stand in Doctor for not having even started the paperwork I gave him a month and a half ago;
- My vision insurance for not kicking in until January first;
- My lack of dental insurance;
- a nameless office that told me it'd be fine if I don't submit my paperwork until July, which I found out is completely untrue. Whoops on their behalf.

and to note that yes, I saw all this coming, however it doesn't make it any easier. These people holding onto all my shit have the potential to keep me from the program I was nominated for if they don't hustle! My goal is to have everything submitted, medically, by February 1st. This means I will have to call the aforementioned Stand In Doctor in a little over a week to remind him that he told me he'd have this shit done within a week. Who even *knows* what my legal clearance will take... All this is a test of how I deal with stress and impatience. Those ARE my middle names, but at least when I'm feeling stressed and impatient in Africa, I'll still be enjoying myself.

I'm starting to feel like September isn't soon enough to get out of all that is "here."